7 things you should never say to a single girl

A few weeks ago, I decided to post onto my blog, a peak into my soul. But just barely. Being transparent felt empowering. I felt real, like I was being honest. So I've decided to do it again.

So here I present to you, 7 things you should never say to a single girl, and why not:

1) "Are you interested in a relationship or are you enjoying being single?"
As a general rule, most girls do not want to be single.
 -Why should you not say this?
It's best to avoid saying this, because this could be really hurtful; especially if whoever she is does want a relationship.
-A better thing to say...
If she's mentioned a class, ask what she wants to do with that; if she mentions a job, ask her about that; if you have a trusting relationship with her, you will eventually hear her heart on dating and relationships and how she feels being single. Don't rush that.  

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2) "You better get on it if you want kids!(or some biological clock joke)" or "Don't worry, you still have time!"
This is a remark that goes one way or the other, and neither are very helpful.
 -Why should you not say this?
If a girl wants to be in a relationship/married and isn't, basically telling her she's running out of time isn't just hurtful, it's heartbreaking. However, on the flip side, saying something like "you still have time" isn't your best idea either. To be honest, maybe it's not a good idea to talk about how much "time" a single lady has. Referring to her age at all, even if she is "young" can be really hurtful to some girls.
-A better thing to say...
Keep it simple. Something just as plain as "God has you where HE wants you" will suffice.

3) I have/know a really great (enter relation to male here)!
Great.
-Why should you not say this?
If she's a girl like me, she isn't going to pursue the relationship. I appreciate you mentioning this guy to me, but if you really think there would be something there, mention me to him. I'm not going to approach a guy like that. However, thank you for thinking of me!
-A better thing to say...
Honestly, some times fewer words are better. Saying something like "God knows His plan for you" I find very encouraging. Sometimes we just need that reminder that He is still in control instead of someone trying to "fix" our situation. 

4) But there's so much you should be doing with your single years!
Fact. There is. However, with all due respect, how do you know I'm not throwing myself into as much ministry and activity as my schedule and finances allow?
-Why should you not say this?
Because it can be a punch to the gut. Contentment is already a struggle. Especially when a girl wants a relationship and doesn't have one, and she is making the best of where she is, telling her there's "more" she could be doing makes us feel inadequate, like we aren't doing enough. We are seeking joy the best way we know how, trying to use our gifts and talents to the Lord.
-A better thing to say...
Encouraging us in what we are doing is actually really great to hear. For example, I teach ESL and I become encouraged to keep on in that whenever someone else either becomes excited for what I'm doing or simple offers some encouragement in that.

5) Have you tried eHarmony/Christian Mingle/online dating?
Nope.nope.nope.nope.nope. No offense, just don't even go here. 
-Why should you not say this?

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Because- straight up flesh talking here: its none of your business. A lot of single people feel that online dating is a last resort. If we are using an online dating program, we more than likely don't want to share all those details. And if we aren't, telling us we should makes us feel like "well you're obviously not going to meet anyone else."
-A better thing to say...
IF you need to say something here, something like, "God has some mysterious and crazy ways of working!" will do just fine. Anything more can be overkill and hurtful. 

6) You should put yourself out there more!
Some of us are not comfortable "putting ourselves out there" any more than absolutely necessary.
-Why should you not say this?
Because sometimes it is out of conviction that we aren't putting ourselves out there; sometimes its our personality; and sometimes we've just been so burned by the situations we got into when we "put ourselves out there", we aren't really interested in going about it that way again.
-A better thing to say...
This maybe one of those times, where there is no better thing to say.

7) You'll find a great guy some day! 
I hope so.
-Why should you not say this? 
Although this sounds like a good thing to say, and it might be the necessary comfort at that moment, it is a promise you cannot keep. I believe marriage is God's purpose for His people, but not His plan for everyone of us. The hard reality that some of us might not get married is true. False hope only puts off accepting the truth.
-A better thing to say...
"God has great plans for you!" And then leave it at that.