"can I have it?"

My sister nannies a little girl who's charm, sass and big brown eyes could rival just about any force of nature. I jokingly call her my mini-me, because in so many ways, its like looking at a smaller, less understandable version of myself. However, Tiny Riley is certainly one of a kind.

I laid on my bed today with my window open, listening to the two of them as they played in the front yard. When her mother came to pick her up, I heard my sister say, "can I have it?" and in my mind's eye, I could picture little Riley standing there, belly poking out, arm behind her back, hand tightly gripping a favorite toy, resisting it's surrender. I know whats going through her little mind. I can put myself in her place exactly. This person that she knows, loves, and trusts, is asking her to give up all her things, and all she wants is to hang onto her best thing, her favorite thing. And still, her authority is asking her surrender that best thing.

My sister knows, that waiting for Riley, is her mom, brother, home, toys, dinner and daddy. She knows that in order for Riley to have those things that she love infinitely more than that toy, she has to surrender that toy to get them. She can't go home, until she leaves the toy that belongs here, here.

This child usually keeps me in stitches, but today, she caused me to be convicted.

I could just hear the Father calling me gently, asking me, "can I have it? can you surrender to me, this thing that you think is so good, because I know that what's coming is better?" I wanted to act like I didn't know what He was asking of me. I wanted to put my hand behind my back, grip tighter, and I wanted to pretend like I hadn't just heard the protests of a child being asked to give up her precious thing, because what was coming was better. Because I knew I was being asked to give up a precious thing, and I didn't want to. I've struggled all day with the idea that I have to surrender something. I have tried so hard to pry open my own hand, knowing that He is asking for whats in it, asking me to surrender this thing.

All He's asking me today, is "can I have it?"

It's a humbling question, I don't want to answer it, because my flesh says "no, you can't" but my heart knows, that what He has is so much better.

So, can He have it?