Since my last post was such a downer, I thought I would let y'all see what the Father has been up to in other areas of my life the past few months. This is very brief compared to the details of what has actually gone on, but its enough to hopefully be a lot more positive than I have been as of late! :)
In June of this year, I showed up at the doors to my church weary, humiliated, angry, lonely, and hungry. The seven months leading up to that moment, I had spent in a church that I had been cautioned to examine carefully. I started going there, stayed there, and left there for all the wrong reasons. It was a classic case of “two wrongs don’t make it right” but clearly, I kept trying. Before going there I spend the previous five years feeling so lost, drifting from Church to Church looking for home. My soul craved to find the church body I could call Family and mean it. That was something I hadn’t experienced since mid high school, and now here I was, into my 20’s and feeling more lost and broken than I ever remember feeling.
When I showed up, I confess, I didn’t want to be there. I was broken in many ways, not just emotionally, and the Lord had to heal me for a lot of weeks. As He did, He gave me the courage and joy I needed to be “all there” as Jim Elliot said. I began to invest in the Church I was attending and I began to experience for the first time in many years, real fellowship, real teaching, and real community.
The holidays (October to January, basically) are my favorite time of year, and I love the Christmas Eve service and the parties and all the things surrounding this time of year, but I spent the last few years wandering around during that time. But this year? This year I’m home. And I can’t wait for all this season has in store.
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