When you question what you've been promised

Ok sisters how many of you have ever asked the question: "What do you do when you find yourself doubting the goodness of God?" Not that He is good, but that He is good to you. I'll be honest, that's where I'm at. 

I don't just know it, I believe it: God is good. He does good. I know and believe He is good because I have seen His goodness. 

But sisters, I confess, I'm having a hard time seeing His goodness in my life. I have seen Him be good to those around me, to my family. I have seen Him be good to my sisters and my parents. I have seen Him be good to friends and bodies of believers. I have seen His goodness across this country and heard of His goodness from across the seas. 

But I am having such a hard time seeing His goodness in my life. I feel like this begs for me to ask myself a few questions: bear with me, I'm working through this as I write. 

1) am I doubting His goodness because I don't feel His goodness? 

If we're really honest with ourselves, we know that as ladies, we base so much on our emotions. Even matters where they shouldn't be the main contributing factor, we're quick to inject how we feel about something. God gave us emotions, I have no doubt that He knew He was making emotional creatures, but that doesn't justify our overly emotional responses to life. 

2) am I doubting His goodness because it's not what I think is good? 

Ouch. This hurt just writing it. I believe He is good, and I believe He can show His goodness go me, but am I missing it because it's not how I want Him to be good to me? Have I decided how He should be good, and when that doesn't happen, I become disappointed and feel He does not show His goodness to me? I dare say yes, I do. 

3) am I doubting His goodness because I am consumed with what He does for me, instead of what I should be doing? 

The very same verse that tells us of Him working for our good, tells us that His goodness is for those who love Him. Have I inserted a genie filter and stopped loving Him deeply and well? Have I gotten too used to His goodness that I now expect it in very specific ways and stopped being thankful that I get to love Him at all? 

Sisters, readers, friends, whoever you may be, God is good. He does good. Sometimes He is good and you get to see it immediately. And sometimes He is good right now, and you don't know it until later, but He is always good. 

“we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him...” Romans 8:28a