May Flowers

May is hard month for me. It has been for a few years.

May first became a month of difficulty three years ago when I said good-bye to someone for the first time. I don't mean good-bye like someone was moving, or to an elderly relative that I didn't really know. I mean, that I stood by the side of a friend, my age, who was ending his battle with cancer. "Emotional" doesn't even begin to describe me during the weeks that followed. I remember getting the news that he was gone and collapsing on the kitchen floor. I had never prayed so hard, and never been so devastated.

Also understand, I was sixteen. I am an overly emotional person. And this was a new experience. Everything felt so huge; I had no idea how to deal with it. So, for an entire year, I wrote him letters. I spoke at his funeral, and was honoured to do so, but it was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

If you read this post, you can read more about the second reason May is hard.

My Cinco de Mayo nephew is waiting for me. I can't wait to meet him.

Sometimes it feels like, there are still showers in May, and that it's still sort of dark. But I like to think that I just have a few waiting May flowers waiting. And I can't wait to see them in full bloom.